"If music be the food of love, play on." -William Shakespear

So i had a mild break down today. Joel had a date on Friday with a very pretty girl. She is from Mohawk. Today he was practically bouncing off of the walls. I hate it. He is so freaking happy while i'm miserable. I just can't get over him. I know i didn't treat him the greatest and that she will be like 100 times better than me. So i was talking to a friend and started to cry. I've lost him for good...he has moved on. And i just can't seem to. Nothing helps. I can't stand watching him slip away from me. I haven't talked to him in 4 days....and i hate it. He has always been the person i confide in. Him having a girlfriend will change it all. Why can't i just say fuck him you can do better? She is soo much better than me. These thoughts keep running through my head about how i was never good enough. My mind is spinning. Why can't things just be like they used to be? Simple and happy? I feel like my world is crumbling all over again.....